Quilt Hold-up…
From the fears of a wanna-be perfectionist: I’m officially holding up the quilting project or in other words: “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”
As I started sewing the embroidered squares together, I had to get past the fact that not everything would align perfectly—no matter how hard I tried. This is my first attempt at sewing, after all. Still, I got it pretty darn close. And every few minutes, I’d run to show my husband my progress like a small, excited child with a new drawing—just hoping for that little bit of validation.
Now here’s the tricky part, and where I’ve been stuck for weeks: the instructions are very limited and simple—clearly written in a 1950s world where most women already knew how to sew. I understand them, but I have a huge fear of cutting the fabric from our wedding tablecloths that I want for the overall border and the backing. There’s only so much of it, and one wrong cut could change the entire quilt.
I don’t have many people that I knew personally that could help me with this part. I wanted to ask my new friend in town who knows everything about sewing, but our schedules hadn’t aligned, and honestly, I’ve thought about just walking into the local craft store and asking for help nearly every single day. I’ve been held back by embarrassment and the quilt just sat and looked at me every day in my office—until last week.
I finally did it. I walked myself into the craft store and spoke with two very sweet older women who kindly offered advice. I was so grateful for their insight, though I secretly wished I could have gotten a bit of hands-on guidance—because this is definitely something I need to see to understand.
When I got home, I gathered my courage and cut into the fabric. The women had done some magic folding to measure/instruct me, but because my quilt wasn’t straight to begin with, my cut wasn’t perfect either. I almost cried. But my husband came to the rescue—helping me measure, troubleshoot, and laugh (and almost cry) through the realization that all the little imperfections added up to one big challenge.
Right now, I’ve got three sides of the border sewn on, and I’m trying to figure out how to fix the fourth. Don’t even get me started on the confusion of piecing it all together with the interlining and the fact that the quilt is bigger than the table cloth and I’m going to have MacGyver that together as well. When I read the instructions out loud to my husband, he laughed and said,
“Oh, I get it now… you picked a quilt meant for people who already knew how to quilt. That’s the problem.”
To be honest, I was embarrassed to show him. I kept thinking, How am I not mastering this the first time? And then, Will my child one day look at this and think their mom was an idiot?
But the truth is—it feels good to be a beginner. It’s scary, but the thrill of trying something new and learning along the way is truly enjoyable. To give yourself time. To do something purely for yourself. To forgive yourself for not being perfect. This is really hard for me and something I continue to work on. I am nowhere near close to being easy on myself, but I’m trying!
While I’m still figuring out the quilt, I did pick out my next project: a tablecloth I plan to embroider for future Christmas celebrations. It won’t be finished this year, but that’s okay. Some heirlooms take time.
In the meantime, if anyone out there in the interwebs has loving, non-judgmental advice for a total quilting newbie, I’m all ears.
