Holy smokes, the quilt is done!!!
When I wrote my last blog post, I truly felt so cemented in fear that I was wondering how I was going to finish this darn thing.
As mentioned, the advice from the sweet old ladies would have been helpful if everything had been perfect measurements, but that wasn’t the case on any front. I posted that post on November 12, and a month later I still hadn’t done anything else. Fear was still very prevalent, and I knew I couldn’t easily take this into the shop for continued help unless someone could actually help me sew. There was a high probability that I was going to keep making excuses for myself, which was okay… but I also knew I’d continue to beat myself up over it.
As the month kept drawing on, I found motivation from one of my favorite accounts on Instagram, RudyJude. It features a woman around my age. She and her husband are immensely talented in so many creative ways, and when she isn’t designing for her own fashion line, she’s always pursuing different passion projects across various fields, all while raising three young boys. From what you see on Instagram, they’re going to be equally as talented and cool. She’s truly an inspiration and, in many ways, lives the life I’m working toward. I use her as an expander, a reminder that this could hopefully be my reality too.
She and her husband were finishing all handmade Christmas presents for their children. The older boys were getting Victorian-inspired games, and her youngest was getting custom-made needlepoint shoes, which are insanely beautiful and so inspiring.
Knowing I wanted this quilt to one day be an heirloom for a child, I suddenly reframed the entire project. I needed to finish it by Christmas, come hell or high water, or else my child wasn’t getting a gift. Just like that, the barriers holding me back seemed to melt away. To be honest, in some of the moments of literally putting the pieces together, I had no idea what I was doing or if it would work. I watched a few YouTube videos and, honestly, asked my muses who watch over me in my little office every day, Ardell and Eve, for guidance.
My dogs came in as support too. My puppy kept wanting to lay on the quilt, which I considered test runs for comfort. It passed his test.
Through it all, and with my cheerleaders in my mind, I finished the darn thing right before midnight on December 23rd. There was such a rush of excitement, and in my mind I kept replaying the prospect of watching someone open this beautiful present on Christmas morning. It made me realize that I think I want to keep putting myself up against challenges like this, much like the woman behind RudyJude, pushing myself to create something beautiful annually for my child. I want to witness the joy and wonder that comes from receiving something made with so much love and energy.
This year, my husband and dogs seeing the quilt was enough for me. To my surprise, the filler I used is quite warm, so this could actually function as a comforter rather than just a carry-around blanket. One I know we’ll be keeping for years, maybe generations.
I’m really glad I didn’t give up on myself or this dream. Through the fear of not being perfect, the quilt couldn’t have turned out more perfect if I tried.
Started March 31. Finished December 23.
Countless hours. Lots of pride. Lots of doubt.
And a whole lot of learning.
